Mother

Hello Universe 236

Content Warning: The post below discusses the author’s feelings on the death of a loved one. Please avoid reading it if you may feel distress from such a topic.

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My Mother comments on each Hello Universe post, giving me her reflections, thoughts, and encouragement each week as I write new poems.

She has been the biggest source of love, joy, and strength in my life. I have written a couple of poems dedicated to her (first, second), and I wish I had written more to tell her how much I love and care for her. Sadly, as of today, I won’t ever be able to do that. Against all efforts, prayers, and medicines, a deadly illness gripped her and rapidly took her life. Each day over the weekend brought worse news than the last one, and finally, on Monday morning 06.52 am Indian Standard Time, she was no more.

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Hina Thakkar was born 62 years ago in a very different world. She had an innate fighting spirit right from birth, because she was born with a hole in her heart. At less than 10 years old, she went through a pioneering open-heart surgery, one of the firsts in the country on someone her age, and came out alive at the other end. Her family lived in a 14 square meter room, and she helped raise her two younger siblings.

She was a voracious reader even as she was growing up. Reading authors across languages - Gujarati, Marathi, Hindi, and English, she developed a rich, imaginative worldview. She taught children in her neighbourhood, and through that, put together enough money to put herself through college. She then worked as a cashier at a bank, before marrying and settling down in a new city, new family, new place. The deep love between her and my father led her through those years, as she served the family, lived through the death of her own father, and brought my sister to the world.

A few years later, she fought again for her life when I was born, the pregnancy was too hard on her. She pulled through with immense willpower and strength, and raised me into the person I am today. She gifted me her love for reading, for curiosity, and a spirit to never give up, however hard life gets. She loved everyone, always brought joy to the lives of those she met. Her deep emotional core was something I inherited, apart from the shape of her nose too. She was my lighthouse.

She fought for her life again this year, troubled by a disease that had been hidden in her body for several decades, eating away at her from the inside. We saw her undying spirit as she worked her way through it the entire year, held up by my father, as he took such gentle and genuine care for her throughout it all. But alas, this was one fight too many, and her body gave up.

I am writing today’s poem to mark a point in time: my mother is no more. She is gone, never to read any of my poems again, never to give me her advice again.

I love you Mom.

One of the last pictures we took together, deep in the Austrian Alps.

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You brought me to this world, my Mom,
you raised me with your hands.
You made me capable of 
living life in different lands.

You fed me with your love,
and even scolded me with care.
With you, I knew, I could lay out
my deepest troubles bare.

You loved the name of God,
and yes, you always were so kind.
The world was always much in awe
of your glorious mind.

You fought with head held high,
and yes, you taught me with your soul.
You made me realize 
I have the power to be whole.

You never had a problem
calling something wrong as wrong.
You motivated others
gently bringing them along.

Just like you, Mom, I also could
remember every song.
Because of you, Mom, I could have
a character so strong.

You and Dad, your love was deep 
it resonated far.
Your forty years together,
they inspire our hearts.

Us children, we will always miss
the food you always made.
It’s sad that it is gone with you
now that to rest you’re laid.

I struggle writing out these words
there’s much I wish to share.
Just like I did right in your lap
as you tousled my hair.

The child in me is wailing, Mom,
the boy in me, he cries.
No son is ever left the same,
when his dear mother dies.

But one thing that will never change
is what we’ve learned from you.
That life will throw its many blows
but we must hit them through.

Yes we must hit them through
and we must chart our path ahead.
Our lives, they must continue strong,
until the day we’re dead.

You always said one comes to earth
with finite breaths assigned.
Just like you, Mom, for spreading joy
is how I will use mine.

Like you have taught me to,
I’ll raise my voice against all wrong.
Like you have taught me to be, 
I'll be humble, modest, strong.

Yes, humble, modest, strong,
that’s how you’ve taught us all to be.
By being so, your descendants will
honor your memory.

I’ve not yet processed everything
there’s much more to endure.
But one thing that I know is true
that I know is for sure:

Each and every life you touched,
now holds your fingerprints.
The world outside has lost you,
but you’ll always live within.

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That’s it. With a heavy heart, I conclude this, the edition 236 of Hello Universe. I don’t have a lot to ask of you today, just if you could, keep my mother in your prayers. She was taken too soon.

That’s it for this week, see you next Tuesday.