I’ve been dealing with a lot of government paperwork lately and it is most certainly my least favourite thing to do. Form after form, paper after paper, complication after complication; there is much unnecessary woe built into our daily existence already, but dealing with bureaucracy makes even the hardest day feel like a walk in the park.
Trying to complete this paperwork gave me flashbacks from that one time a few years ago when I tried to get my passport made and I was caught up in red tape and confusion for 3 long months!
So today’s poem is an ode to bureaucracy and red tape, written by one of its biggest fans.
Alright, poem starts in 3… 2… 1!
The devil sat to plot our doom, and giggled in his sulphur room. "I've got it!" cried the Prince of Pricks, "Bureaucracy will do the trick!" He crafted forms in triplicate, with relish one can't replicate. With font so small it hurts to read, and questions no one needs, indeed. "Please state your granny's maiden name, her sock size, and your claim to fame. How many hairs upon your head? List all the lies you've ever said." Clerks stamping papers with delight, "REJECTED" echoes day and night. "Your form's not right," they always say, "Come back again another day!" The red tape grows to Epic Heights, confounding every legal right. "Oh pardon us!" the people cry, while paper mountains touch the sky. So when you find yourself in line, your patience hanging by a twine, Remember friends, it's meant to be, we're subjects of Bureaucracy.
(Written in black ink and faxed promptly to Department of Poetic Expression)
Form 81CC-H3
That’s it! Thanks for reading edition no. 171 of Hello Universe. Bit of a cynical one today but hey, you get it right?
What was your funniest bureaucratic experience? Share with the Hello Universe community below and let us all commiserate with each other.
Some Fun Stuff
This is where I share something cool to read, something cool to listen to, and something cool to watch! The underlined words are links that you can click to visit the recommended content.
1. Check out websim.ai NOW: Ok this one is a total winner. It’s a website on which you can generate any website you want. Sounds crazy right? For example, just go to this site, create an account, and then use the inbuilt browser to search for “a website that has a blue background and helps me learn the basics of German language”. I did that, and here is what I got:
Guess what, all of the buttons work! And this isn’t all, you can even look at websites generated by other people and get lost in an alternate internet where all these AI generated websites live.
It’s tons of fun, and I highly recommend that you check it out!
2. Listen to “The Queen of All Everything” by Ott: A tranquil happy tune sure to set your mood right, listen now!
3. Watch “Utopia”, a hilarious Australian show: The best show I’ve found in a while, and very much related to today’s topic! Utopia is like the Australian “Office” but about a government agency. It has some of the snappiest writing and performing thanks to Rob Sitch who produces, directs, and acts as the main character. The cast is awesome, the stories are too real, and this show along with today’s poem is proof that humor can still be found in the bureaucratic messes we have created for ourselves. Check it out!
That’s it for this week, see you next Tuesday!
The one that stopped me was....List all the lies you've ever said. Do the lies told not to hurt peoples feelings...the white lies....count?
Oh, this is fantastic - and soooooo relatable!
I was so surprised during my time living in another country how very different the attitude was to bureaucracy and government departments and registering and form-filling, and having all the right ticks in all the right boxes. In UK we are not expected to have our passports on us wherever we go - heck, whenever I next go abroad I'm going to have a job finding the thing - but in many other places you can't NOT have your passport with you.